Grief and the Lessons of Corona

August 4, 2020Leave a comment

Maybe a daylily blog is a weird place to talk about grief . . . but the daylilies are part of it. Friday the 13th of March was the day my life shifted. We put a traditional onground program online over the weekend. I had two enthusiastic brand new, full-time instructors to help me and I was super glad for years of online teaching experience.

Chaco Canyon 8.3, 20 (blooming since 6.25.20)

It was weird at first . . . we thought it would end in two weeks 😉 The days were long – 15 hours. I was exhausted – But I made progress without the distractions of the office. The students got a little crazy and that was hard . . . but we got through and got the nursing students graduated in late May.

Once the warm weather came, I could eat lunch on my porch and enjoy my yard and daylilies. My pups got to be outside all day instead of cooped up in the house waiting for me to get home at 7 PM. We took evening walks and howled on the porch at 8 PM. I taught my disabled dog to use wheels and got my senior dog through two more treatments to finally clear her of infection. I got projects done around home – like painting murals and installing drip systems. Without the artificial need for an 8-6 with commute, my creativity came back. My energy got better.

Oh, there were the MA students who were in limbo with no clinical rotations who I had until the second week of July. But, I was surrounded by the other elements of my life throughout the journey. I guess I didn’t realize how much I missed them – how they fed my energy. Saturdays are not enough!

My camping trip came and went with only a few crisis – like one of my two full-time people resigning. Once I got home 3 weeks ago, I started feeling the grief. The daylilies would dwindle . . . and once school started, I would have no time for them. More than that, my life would dwindle back to a rut that is created by monotonous work in a small office with no windows and countless unforeseen issues to deal with, mostly alone. I am the only faculty with a doctorate in my institution – and 20 years teaching, 35 as a nurse – it is isolating to be so experientially separated from others. (The new college director is the second person with a doctorate.)

Tomorrow is my last day at home until mid October. Until the leaves turn my pups will be in crates by day. My daylilies will wonder where the camera went. I will become enmeshed in the endless tasks of the day and be too tired to want to walk into the house of hungry dogs at 7 PM. My dogs will become a chore in an all too busy day, again.

What is wrong with me, I think to myself? I really wanted to get away from a stay at home job because of the isolation. And, there are good things about this job. But, I am more engaged with my pups than my career at the moment. It has been a time of a lot of change for my program the past two years . . . a lot of change. And, I am responsible for way more than I want to be at this point in my life.

An online job beckons, again – and/or retirement. Maybe at the end of this school year. I am writing this blog to remind myself of this moment . . . of all the horrible and tragic things Corona Virus has brought to the world, it has brought me insight into my grief. I could step out of my rut and now I am having a hard time finding a purpose in returning.

I hope I have a new direction or at least attitude by the times the greens of the next crop of daylilies is born through the earth. Please enjoy my bloomers on my next to last day of freedom.

I will not forget the lessons of Corona. Perhaps the strangest part of all is that no one seems to see the struggle inside of me . . . . that makes the isolation 10 X worse. Thanks for letting me share with you.

Adios, Albuquerque

May 15, 2020May 15, 2020Leave a comment

This year, there was no spring break road trip – adios, Albuquerque. Adios to the best week of the year. Adios to the canyons of the Southwest. The only novel adventure this year is named Corona – and I don’t mean the arch in Utah.

Petroglyph National Monument HQ – 2014

Albuquerque is about 6-8 hours down US Hwy 550. In fact, that highway starts in Montrose and ends in Albuquerque.

Petroglyph National Monument near Albuquerque, NM – 2014

When I think of Albuquerque, I think of my 2014 road trip with my new dog, Maizzy, and my new Honda Fit, Mini Pearl. I had plans for Chaco Canyon and for Route 66, and what lie in between was a mystery – my choice of which way to turn on the open road. The first couple of years, I didn’t get reservations until the day I left the previous motel. More dogs = more planning.

Petroglyph National Monument – 2014

I don’t like cities, so I was zooming as quickly as I could from US Hwy 550 to I-40 (Route 66) when I noticed a sign for Petroglyph National Monument. I was like – “Well, that sounds interesting”, so off I went. There was a dog friendly section where we hiked until mid afternoon.

Maizzy – my non-desert dog in the desert at Petroglyph National Monument

Road trips through the Southwest are geology on wheels. I found these petroglyphs stunning because they were on volcanic rock and not red sandstone like I am use to. This one looks like Charlie Brown with a baseball cap to me.

Charlie Brown Petroglyph and Petroglyph National Monument

From there, we headed west on I-40. I saw signs for El Malpias National Monument, so we stopped there for a short scenic drive. It was like a combo of volcanic rock and red sandstone. I realized they what I realize most everyday of every road trip – that I play too long and run out of time before I want to stop.

El Malpias National Monument – 2014

The other cool place near Albuquerque is Salinas Mission Pueblos National Monument. We didn’t run into these 2016. That was another serendipity where we were on a stretch of highway with nothing to do between point A and point B – then there was this photo on the wall of ruins – and I had to find them.

Maizzy at Salinas Mission Pueblo Ruins – 2016

Last year, our trip took us through that area, again – so I went with all three dogs. I love the big old mission buildings as a background for my small dogs.

Kachina, Sazi, and Maizzy at Salinas Mission Pueblo Ruins National Monument – 2019

These trips to me are Albuquerque – unique in culture and landscape. Adios Albuquerque was added to my daylily garden in 2016, I think. After these trips that are forever engraved in my memory. I put it in my Southwest garden with (mostly) other Ned Roberts spiders.

Adios Albuquerque daylily – 2019

The garden was put in where there was only rock garden – on the easement between the sidewalk and the street. I have no back yard, because it is a split lot – so I actually have almost all of these daylilies in buried pots in case the water main ever busts there.

Adios Albuquerque daylily – 2019

I like the bloom – it is subtle. Albuquerque was Ned’s home until he moved to Colorado for treatment – at least that is my understanding. He, no doubt, loved the New Mexico culture. It is different from Colorado . . . it must have been hard for him to say Adios, Albuquerque. Fortunately, I have his daylilies to take me on a road trip on the year of the pandemic.

Adios Albuquerque daylily 2019

Boil it Down!

August 16, 2019August 16, 2019Leave a comment

Today, I feel the need to simplify life. I worked from 8 to 7. My orchids cry for water. They aren’t doing well splitting time with the daylilies in summer. I am ambivalent about losing some of them. I need to pack for my camping trip. Laundry needs to be done. I haven’t gotten 8 hours of sleep in nearly a week.

Raven Woodsong 8.15

I got hobbies when I was trying to balance life and find purpose when working from home. I took a more challenging away-from-home-job a year ago. Now, the mania of the first of a term with nearly all new faculty, new programs, new campuses has hit. I am attempting to shift the work culture, and it feels like my life balance is taking a hit.

Cripple Creek 8.15

What could I eliminate? Not my dogs or my daylilies. Not my camping or road trips. Orchids can be thinned. I want to get into air plants – why don’t I just leave it? IDK. I like plants. And, I don’t want to give up my hobbies. It took me years to finally get some because career was my life. I think they are essential – but I need to boil them down to the essentials.

Orange Vols 8.15

The Three Amigas

August 11, 2018Leave a comment

My dogs earned the reputation of being the Three Amigas last year at a dog Halloween party. They won a prize for the funniest dog costumes. It was a good time.

Kachina, Maizzy, and Sazi

So, today when I had only three blooms, I thought about my dogs. I think Blue Beat is my oldest dog, Maizzy. She is mellow (blue) and has a heart condition (Beat). So, it fits her. Indian Sky is my youngest dog, Kachina. Not only do the names work together, but Kachina is the red-orange sky color. Then comes little goofy Sazi, my newest addition (although she is middle-aged). Heirloom Heaven fits her because she is a small late bloomer. Who else has canine garden helpers?

Today’s Blooms (no finales):

Blue Beat 8.10 – Maizzy’s bloom

Maizzy

Indian Sky 8.10 – Kachina’s bloom

Kachina

Heirloom Heaven 8.10 – Sazi’s bloom

Sazi

Red Hot Returns

August 17, 2016August 17, 2016Leave a comment

This daylily name reminds me of a politician’s IRS filing. It was added to the front lawn daylily area because my others are all mid-only bloomers. I like the red and green combo. It has a brand new scape, which is cool because Stella dropped hers for now. (PS – I believe this is the last new cultivator to bloom this year unless someone surprises me.)

Red Hot Returns – Photo by Colorado Kid Daylilies – C. Hartt

Speaking of Stella, she did show up today.

Stella de Oro – Photo by Colorado Kid Daylilies – C. Hartt

I haven’t talked about my daylily helpers. Meet my dogs, Maizzy and Kachina. Maizzy is named for my grandkids, Maia and Isaac. And, Kachina was named Tina in the shelter. I had just planted Kachina Firecracker and Kachina Dancer when I got her – so her name was changed to Kachina. Named for a doll and a daylily. She lives up to both names.

Daylily Dogs – Maizzy and Kachina (in that order)

So, it is back to the hunt, for me. And, this time it isn’t Ned Roberts daylilies. Well, not exclusively, anyway.

Colorado Kid Daylilies

A Blog About My Western Colorado Daylily Adventure

Tag: dogs